REDLINE TO HELL

by RECTIFIED BINDER

[Intro — engine cranking, feedback screaming]

Rrrrrr—RRRRRR—VROOOOOM!

DRIVER:
CHECK ENGINE LIGHT?!

BAND:
IGNORE IT!!!

---

[Verse 1]

Six-point-two liters and a tank full of spite,
Bought it on Craigslist in the dead of night.
Previous owner said, “It runs real clean,”
There’s three quarts of oil where the driveway’s been.

Headers glowing like the gates of Hell,
Transmission’s making that expensive smell.
Mechanic said, “Son, you better shut her down—”

I CAN’T HEAR YOU!
THE EXHAUST’S TOO LOUD!

---

[Pre-Chorus]

Oil pressure falling!
Temperature climbs!
Warranty expired
THREE MILES AGO THIS TIME!

---

[Chorus]

RECTIFIED BINDER!
Torque it down tighter!

RECTIFIED BINDER!
Set the tires on fire!

Eight thousand RPM,
Pistons begging for their lives—

WE DON’T NEED RELIABILITY
IF THE CAR SURVIVES!

RECTIFIED!
BINDER!

BRAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

---

[Verse 2]

Got a cold-air intake from a questionable site,
Twenty-seven horsepower—it said so, so it’s right.

Big-ass wing and a carbon hood,
Does it make it faster?

IT LOOKS LIKE IT SHOULD!

Then an XC60 rolls silently by,
Swedish leather, Thor’s Hammer lights.
Driver looks over, calm as can be—

HEATED SEATS?!
THAT AIN’T METAL TO ME!

But the Volvo launches, smooth and quick—

WAIT…
THAT THING’S ACTUALLY SICK.

---

[Breakdown]

DROP!

First gear!

CLUNK!

Second gear!

GRIND!

Third gear!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

silence

…Was that the transmission?

drummer clicks sticks

YEP.

---

[VOLVO BREAKDOWN]

THOR!

HAMMER!

THOR!

HAMMER!

SWEDISH ENGINEERING!

THOR!

HAMMER!

THOR!

HAMMER!

WHY IS THE VOLVO PASSING ME?!

---

[MASSIVE BREAKDOWN]

HEAD!

GASKET!

HEAD!

GASKET!

COOLANT IN THE OIL!

HEAD!

GASKET!

HEAD!

GASKET!

NOW WE’RE FUCKING BOILED!

---

[Guitar Solo]

WEEEE-NEEE-NEEE-NEEE-NEEE—

VROOOOOOM!

SKRRRRRRRRT!

[sound of socket wrench hitting garage floor]

“WHO TOOK THE 10 MILLIMETER?!”

[distant Volvo door closes with an extremely satisfying THUNK]

silence

“Damn… that was a nice thunk.”

---

[Bridge — ominous clean guitar]

Black XC60 at the traffic light,
Quiet little bastard in the dead of night.

Leather seats.
Panoramic roof.

Driver sips coffee…

WITH NOTHING TO PROVE.

Our engine’s shaking,
Our brakes are fried—

The Volvo driver whispers:

“You boys need a ride?”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

---

[Final Chorus]

RECTIFIED BINDER!
Born beneath the hood!

RECTIFIED BINDER!
Making bad ideas sound good!

No traction control!
No catalytic converter!

If something starts knocking—

JUST TURN THE MUSIC LOUDER!

RECTIFIED BINDER!

Gasoline!
Horsepower!
Questionable decisions!

RECTIFIED BINDER!

REDLINE!

REDLINE!

REDLIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

---

[Outro — engine revs violently]

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM—

BANG!

silence

Singer:
“…That sounded expensive.”

[XC60 pulls up]

Volvo Driver:
“Need a tow?”

Singer:
“…Is that the Bowers & Wilkins system?”

Volvo Driver:
“Yep.”

long pause

Singer:
“…I call shotgun.”

Guitarist:
“SELL-OUT!”

Volvo stereo erupts into the final riff

RECTIFIED BINDER!!!

Backstory:

Irritating Case formed in a dimly lit basement in Akron, Ohio in 2011, when childhood friends Jack Ealing and Ronnie Bright decided to turn their obsession with punk rock into more than just a hobby. Jack, a talented drummer, and Ronnie, an eccentric singer and guitarist, started off as a duo, writing songs about their high school bullies, unrequited love, and their mundane suburban life. Their quirky, raw sound quickly caught the attention of their local music scene, and by 2013, they were joined by bassist Stella Marks, a music college dropout, who completed the musical puzzle.

Despite their humble beginnings, Irritating Case managed to create a unique sound that resonated with their generation. Their popularity quickly spread beyond Ohio, and before long, they were touring the country, delivering their high-energy performances to packed venues. Their rise to fame was not without its trials and tribulations, but their shared love for music and determination to succeed saw them through every challenge.

Genre:

Punk Rock

Title:

“Rotten Sneakers”

Full Song Lyrics:

(Verse 1)
[G] Rotten sneakers on the [D] floor,
[C] Momma’s yelling “No [G] more!”
[D] Packed my things, I’m out the [C] door,
[G] Can’t take this [D] anymore.

(Chorus)
[G] I’m just a [D] punk with a [C] case,
[G] In this irritating [D] world, I’m out of [C] place,
[G] Rocking my heart at a [D] frantic pace,
[C] And my rotten sneakers are my [D] saving grace.

(Verse 2)
[G] Broken strings and [D] shattered dreams,
[C] Life ain’t always what it [G] seems,
[D] Through the noise and all the [C] screams,
[G] We’ll find our [D] freedom in the extremes.

(Chorus)
[G] I’m just a [D] punk with a [C] case,
[G] In this irritating [D] world, I’m out of [C] place,
[G] Rocking my heart at a [D] frantic pace,
[C] And my rotten sneakers are my [D] saving grace.

(Bridge)
[C] Ripped jeans and [G] reckless youth,
[D] We’re the proof of the uncut [G] truth,
[C] We’ll keep fighting, [G] we’re the proof,
[D] Our rotten sneakers are our [G] roof.

(Chorus)
[G] I’m just a [D] punk with a [C] case,
[G] In this irritating [D] world, I’m out of [C] place,
[G] Rocking my heart at a [D] frantic pace,
[C] And my rotten sneakers are my [D] saving grace.

Fan Testimonial:

Fan’s name: Jenny McAdams

“Irritating Case isn’t just a band, it’s a lifestyle. Their music has helped me through some of the toughest times in my life. Their raw energy, authenticity, and the way they channel their own life experiences into their songs resonate with me on a deep level. I feel seen, heard, and most importantly, understood. That’s why Irritating Case will always be my favorite band.”

Backstory:
Born in the heart of the bustling city of New York, Lively Judgment was formed by four friends who shared a common passion for music. The group includes frontman Frederick ‘Freddy’ Thompson, guitarist Benjamin ‘Benji’ Simmons, drummer Elijah ‘Eli’ Matthews, and bassist Oliver ‘Ollie’ Henderson. Freddy, Benji, and Eli grew up in the same neighborhood, with Ollie joining their circle in high school. With a shared love for music and a dream to create something unique, the friends eventually decided to make their own band, Lively Judgment, in 2010. Starting as a local band performing in small pubs, their unique sound quickly caught the attention of the public and their popularity rapidly grew, leading them to a national tour and finally, global recognition.

Genre:
Lively Judgment is known for their revolutionary sounds of alternative rock combined with a dash of electronic music.

Title:
“One Last Chance”

Full Song Lyrics:
(Verse 1)
Am – F – C – G
Am F
Here I am, stumbling in the twilight,
C G
Searching for an echo of your sweet voice.
Am F
Underneath the pallor of moonlight,
C G
I recall the softness of your choice.

(Chorus)
Am – F – C – G
Am F
Give me one last chance, to hold you close,
C G
One last dance, under the stars we chose.
Am F
One last glance, at your fading silhouette,
C G
One last chance, a moment I’ll never forget.

(Verse 2)
Am – F – C – G
Am F
Your laughter, it resonates like a sweet melody,
C G
In the silence of the night, it’s my symphony.
Am F
One last chance, is all I’m asking for,
C G
Before you walk out through that door.

(Repeat Chorus)

(Outro)
Am – F – C – G
Am F
Here I stand, under the fading skyline,
C G
With one last chance, to make you mine.

Fan Testimonial:
Name: Jessica ‘Jessie’ Moore

“Lively Judgment has been a constant in my life since I first heard their music during my freshman year. Whether I’m happy, sad, or just need a break, their songs always seem to understand me. Their unique blend of alternative rock and electronic music is refreshing and addictive. I particularly love ‘One Last Chance’, it’s like they’ve put my feelings into words. Their music has a way of touching the soul, and I think that’s what makes them stand out. I can’t wait to see them live again!”

Backstory:

Mundane Sample first came together in the eclectic music scene of Austin, Texas, in 2012. They were all college friends who, as part of a joke, entered a local battle of the bands competition. Their quirky, unique tunes and tongue-in-cheek lyrics delighted the crowd, and surprisingly, they won. Thus, Mundane Sample was born. Initially, they were known only within the city, playing at local pubs and music festivals, but as their music spread, so did their popularity. By 2015, they were performing at national music festivals and had released a surprisingly successful debut album.

Genre:

Mundane Sample’s music falls under the genre of Indie Rock, but their playful mix of catchy hooks and unexpected instrumental interludes gives them a distinctiveness of their own. They’re known for their humorous and relatable lyrics, which often tackle everyday mundane life experiences in unique and intriguing ways.

Title:

“Suburban Syndrome”

Full Song Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Am (Am)
I’m sipping on lukewarm coffee in my favorite diner,
G (G)
Looking at the same faces, just a little bit finer.
C (C)
We’ve all got the suburban syndrome, just trying to fit in,
F (F)
Living life in a rhythm, where do I begin?

[Chorus]
C (C)
Here in the land of manicured lawns and picket fences,
Am (Am)
We’re losing track of our senses.
G (G)
Stuck in the suburban syndrome,
F (F)
Is there anyone out there, or are we all alone?

[Verse 2]
Am (Am)
We’re all chasing the same dream, it’s a little bit scary,
G (G)
Laughing at the same jokes, and life is just merry.
C (C)
We’ve all got the suburban syndrome, just trying to be cool,
F (F)
Living life in a cliché, in a minivan carpool.

[Chorus]
C (C)
Here in the land of cookie-cutter houses and Sunday brunches,
Am (Am)
We’re all throwing the same punches.
G (G)
Caught in the suburban syndrome,
F (F)
Is this life, or just another mundane sample?

Band’s Favorite Fan:

Our favorite fan is undoubtedly Charlie Thompson. Charlie has followed Mundane Sample from their very first performance in Austin. He’s been there through all the ups and downs, and his unwavering support has meant the world to the band. As a testimonial, Charlie says, “Mundane Sample is just different. They sing about life as we know it – the daily grind, the small pleasures, and the shared experiences. It’s like they’re narrating my life through their songs. They’ve made me laugh, cry, and everything in between. They’re not just a band; they’re the soundtrack of my life.”

Backstory:

Querulous Preparation hails from the bustling streets of Liverpool, England. The band is a foursome comprised of childhood friends, Alex Temple (vocals, guitar), James Angol (drummer), Leanne Russell (bass guitar, backing vocals) and Simon Gouge (keyboard, backing vocals). They spent their formative years honing their talents in a shared garage. Their music journey started as a casual hobby before it transformed into a professional pursuit in 2016, after the band won a local talent competition. Their win led to a record deal with a local indie label, which allowed them to release their debut album in 2018. They quickly gained a reputation for their unique sound and energetic performances, capturing the attention of fans and critics alike.

Genre:
Alternative Rock

Title:
“Rhapsody of the Rueful Rain”

Full Song Lyrics:

(Verse 1)
G Cadd9 Em D
Beneath the rueful rain, I stand all alone,
G Cadd9 Em D
Tears hidden in the droplets, heart as heavy as stone.
G Cadd9 Em D
Tangled thoughts, querulous mind, a melody of pain,
G Cadd9 Em D
Oh, where is the sunshine to my rhapsody of the rain?

(Chorus)
C G D Em
Rhapsody of the rueful rain, falling hard and fast,
C G D
Drown my sorrows, wash my pain, cleanse my troubled past.

(Verse 2)
G Cadd9 Em D
The streets echo with silence, only my footsteps remain,
G Cadd9 Em D
Under the grey clouds, in the rhapsody of the rain.
G Cadd9 Em D
Courage fades, hope erodes, it’s a familiar refrain,
G Cadd9 Em D
Lost in the rhythm, of the rhapsody of the rain.

(Chorus)
C G D Em
Rhapsody of the rueful rain, a symphony of sorrow,
C G D
Wash me clean, make me whole, bring a brighter tomorrow.

The band’s favorite fan:

Name: Hannah Watson

Testimonial:
“I have been following Querulous Preparation since their humble beginnings. Their unique blend of alternative rock resonates with me on a deep level. The raw emotion in their lyrics, combined with their powerful melodies, gives me comfort and companionship during my hardest times. The song ‘Rhapsody of the Rueful Rain’ is my absolute favourite. It beautifully encapsulates the human experience of pain and struggle, yet hints at the hope and resilience that lies within each one of us. Their music is a beacon of light in the world, and I am forever grateful to have discovered them.”

Backstory:

Inferior Pond was started in 2003 by a group of college friends in the small town of Blairsville, Georgia. The band consists of frontman Jake McIntyre (vocals and guitar), Sarah Delgado (bass), Tony “Pep” Pepperoni (drums), and Emily Collins (keyboard and backing vocals). They spent their early days honing their skills in the local bar circuit, playing covers of popular songs from the ’60s and ’70s. Their unique blend of lyrics, stemming from their personal experiences of love, loss, and small-town life, soon started gaining traction among the local population.

In 2007, their breakthrough came when they were spotted by a music executive during a gig at their favorite local bar. Impressed by their raw talent, he offered them a record deal, which they accepted. Since then, Inferior Pond has released three studio albums, toured across the United States, and have built a strong fan base. Their music is a heartfelt representation of their life experiences, often filled with melancholy, but also celebrates the joys of ordinary life.

Genre:

Alternative Country

Title:

“Shallow Waters”

Full song lyrics:

(Verse 1)
[G] Down by the Inferior Pond, [D] we were young and fond,
[Em] Full of dreams, full of laughter, [C] life was simple then.
[G] I remember your smile, [D] shining brighter than the sun,
[Em] Our hearts were wild, [C] thought we had just begun.

(Chorus)
[G] Shallow waters, [D] deep emotions,
[Em] In the Inferior Pond, [C] we found our devotion.
[G] We were fearless, [D] we were free,
[Em] In the reflection of the water, [C] we could truly see.

(Verse 2)
[G] Life took us different ways, [D] but I think of those days,
[Em] When the world was ours, [C] and we made our own maze.
[G] Now the pond seems deeper, [D] our memories growing steeper,
[Em] But I return here [C] as a silent weeper.

(Chorus)
[G] Shallow waters, [D] deep emotions,
[Em] In the Inferior Pond, [C] we lost our commotion.
[G] We were dreamers, [D] we were naive,
[Em] But in the depths of the water, [C] we still believe.

Testimonial (Favorite fan):

“Hi, I’m Noah, and I’m the number one fan of Inferior Pond! Their music is so relatable, it’s as if they’re telling my life story with each song they play. I’ve seen them live seven times, and their performances always give me goosebumps. ‘Shallow Waters’ is my absolute favorite – the melancholy mixed with nostalgia is incredibly moving. The beauty of Inferior Pond’s music lies in its simplicity, and that’s why they’re my favorite band. They remind me of the simple joys and trials of life, and their music always brings me comfort.”

Backstory:
Odd Subsidy is a band that sprung into life in the bustling city of Brooklyn, New York, in 2004. Composed of 5 members: Lenny on vocals, Mike on lead guitar, Alyssa on bass guitar, Meredith on drums, and Joey on keyboards. The bandmates, who were friends from high school, initially came together out of sheer boredom and the inevitable urge to create something authentic. They started out by performing in local bars, gaining a following for their alternative sound and their captivating live performances. Their rise to fame was not an immediate one, but their tenacity and passion for music made them a sensation locally, which eventually garnered attention from a broader audience.

Genre:
Alternative Rock/ Indie Pop

Title:
“Urban Carousel”

Full Song Lyrics:

(Verse 1)
Em [Am] Round and round on this urban carousel
[C] Grit and grime, [D] stories to tell
[G] Walking the asphalt labyrinth [Em]
[Am] Surrounded by a symphony in stealth

(Chorus)
[C] Urban carousel, [G] keep me in your spell
[D] Spinning in your rhythm, [Em] in your citadel
[C] Urban carousel, [G] stories that you tell
[D] Echo through the night, [Em] ringing the death knell

(Verse 2)
[Am] Neon lights reflect off puddles on the streets
[C] The city breathes, [D] the city weeps
[G] We are but flickers in the night [Em]
[Am] Lost in the dizzying urban suite

(Chorus)
[C] Urban carousel, [G] keep us in your spell
[D] Spinning in your rhythm, [Em] in your citadel
[C] Urban carousel, [G] stories that you tell
[D] Echo through the night, [Em] ringing the death knell

Fan Favourite:
Odd Subsidy’s favourite fan is a girl named Clarice. Clarice has been following the band since their first gig at a local bar in Brooklyn. She claims that their music resonated with her instantly, the raw energy and the honest lyrics piercing through the clutter of the conventional. In her testimonial, she said, “Odd Subsidy isn’t just a band. They’re poets, they’re philosophers, they’re the voice of our generation. Their music is our anthem, a balm for our restless souls. They’re not just my favourite band; they’re my inspiration.”

Backstory:

Well-Made Horn is an eclectic band that formed on the foggy shores of San Francisco in 2013. The four members; Jimmy, an expert horn player, Maddie, the fierce lead vocalist, Danny, the mellow bassist, and Ronnie, the rhythmic backbone of the band, were all close friends who met in college. They shared a passion for experimenting with music and exploring unusual sounds. The name ‘Well-Made Horn’ was coined after Jimmy’s antique French horn, believed to be possessed with magical powers that bring together the diverse sound of the band.

The band started off performing in local bars and cafes. Their unique sound quickly gained attention, leading them to sign a record deal after only a year. They’ve been touring around the country since, gaining a dedicated fan base with their infectious energy and compelling lyrics.

Genre:

Folk Jazz Fusion

Title:

“Dancing in the Mist”

Full Song Lyrics:

(Verse 1)
Cmaj7 G
“Wandering through the misty streets,
Am Em
Lost in the rhythm, feeling the beats,
F C G
Eyes closed, heart open, setting the pace,
Am Em
On the journey, in this space.”

(Chorus)
Cmaj7 G
“Dancing, swirling, in the mist,
Am Em
Chasing dreams that we’ve kissed,
F C G
Under the moonlight, stars above,
Am Em
Cradled in the music of love.”

(Verse 2)
Cmaj7 G
“Fingers strum, horns play,
Am Em
Every beat takes our breath away,
F C G
The rhythm of the night, the melody of the day,
Am Em
We’re dancing in the mist, come what may.”

(Chorus)
Cmaj7 G
“Dancing, twirling, in the mist,
Am Em
Embracing moments that can’t resist,
F C G
Under the starlight, moon above,
Am Em
Swirling in the symphony of love.”

Fan’s Name:

Oliver Thompson

Testimonial:

“Well-Made Horn is more than just a band to me, they are my sonic sanctuary. I first heard their sound at a small bar in San Francisco, and I was immediately captivated. Their music, a unique blend of folk and jazz, resonates with me on a deeper level. Their song ‘Dancing in the Mist’ speaks to my soul. Every time I listen to it, I’m transported to a different world, a world where I’m free to dance, dream and be myself. The way they weave their words with the haunting melody of the French horn, it’s magical. Well-Made Horn isn’t just my favorite band, they are a part of who I am.”

Backstory:
Impressive Skill began as a band in the lively music scene of Austin, Texas, back in 2011. The initial members – Jake Longwood on vocals, Tom “Whiskey” Sawyer on guitar, Matt Collins on bass, and Alex “Stickman” Reynolds on drums – met in a local college, where they discovered their shared passion for music. Embarking on a journey to follow their dreams, the band started performing at local bars and gradually gained recognition for their captivating live performances. Their unique sound, an eclectic blend of rock, punk, and blues, earned them a devoted following and the opportunity to play at popular music festivals.

Genre:
Their genre is a unique fusion of Rock, Punk, and Blues.

Title:
“One Last Shot”

Full song lyrics:

(Verse)
Am
I stand on a crossroad under neon lights
F
With a guitar on my back and a pocket full of dreams
C
I’ve seen the world through a whiskey bottle
G
But it’s never as it seems

Am
The shadows of my past keep haunting
F
like old ghosts in this dusty town
C
But the strings of my guitar keep talking
G
And I ain’t gonna let them down

(Chorus)
Am
One last shot, for the road I’ve taken
F
One last song, for the hearts that’s broken
C
I’m a rock and roll survivor, with an impressive skill
G
This is my life, this is my thrill

(Verse)
Am
The highway calls my name, like a siren song
F
With the promise of bright city lights and fame
C
But the music in my soul keeps me grounded
G
And I know it’s not just a game

(Chorus)
Am
One last shot, for the dreams I’ve chased
F
One last song, for the love I’ve misplaced
C
I’m a rock and roll believer, with an impressive skill
G
This is my truth, this is my thrill

Fan’s Name & Testimonial:

The band’s favorite fan is Bella Turner, a music blogger from Houston, Texas. Bella remembers the first time she heard Impressive Skill at a local music festival. She was instantly captivated by their raw energy and the depth of their lyrics. Bella says, “Impressive Skill isn’t just a band to me. It’s a lifeline. Something about their music speaks directly to my soul. It’s like they’ve taken my deepest emotions, and turned them into a symphony. Their songs are the soundtrack to my life. Every high, every low, every love, every heartbreak, every hope – it’s all there in their music. I don’t just listen to Impressive Skill. I feel them. I live them. That’s why they are my favorite band – and always will be!”

Backstory:

Incompatible Chicken is a product of five high school friends who found solace in each other’s weirdness and love for music. They were more than a bunch of misfits who got together in the small town of Henderson, Nevada, in 2001. Being named after a joke that a piece of software was as incompatible as a chicken at a vegan party, they decided to stick with the odd name “Incompatible Chicken”. They started off performing at local gigs and school events, slowly developing a solid fanbase that appreciated their unique sound and eccentric name.

The band – comprised of lead vocalist and guitarist Jake, drummer Gary, bassist Mickey, keyboardist Ronnie, and female lead vocalist and guitarist Emma – prides itself on their quirkiness and commitment to pushing boundaries. They’ve managed to stay together through thick and thin, continually evolving their sound while maintaining the essence that makes them who they are – Incompatible Chicken.

Genre:

Alternative Rock

Title:

“Muddled Reality”

Full song lyrics:

(Verse 1, Chords: Am, G, F, C)
In the haze of a muddled reality,
I was lost, in a crowd of anonymity.
Found a light, in the dark, it was your face,
In the echo of laughter, I found my space.

(Chorus, Chords: G, F, Am, C)
We are Incompatible Chicken, we’re here to stay,
Through the noise and silence, we’ll make our way.
In the world of the mundane, we’re the fire,
With every strum, we take you higher.

(Verse 2, Chords: Am, G, F, C)
We sung our hearts out, on the deserted streets,
In the rhythm of rebellion, our hearts beat.
With every note, we echoed our dreams,
In the chaos, we found our themes.

(Chorus, Chords: G, F, Am, C)
We are Incompatible Chicken, we’re here to play,
Through the highs and lows, we’ll sway.
In the abyss of normality, we’re the sirens,
With every beat, we defy the tyrants.

Fan’s Name:

Billy Thompson

Testimonial:

“I’ve been following Incompatible Chicken since they were just a local band in Henderson. Their music resonates with me on a level no other band has ever done. It’s like they’re speaking directly to my soul. Their song ‘Muddled Reality’ always puts me in a reflective mood and makes me feel like I’m not alone in this world. I’ve been to almost all their concerts and each time they deliver a phenomenal performance. Incompatible Chicken is not just a band for me, they’re a beacon of hope and my favorite escape from reality.”